15-year-old commanded by stepmother and father to sign a "family contract" declaring devotion to their new blended family: 'They want us to not only accept the wedding but to accept each other as family and commit to being close'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Mar 17, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

The terms of relationships aren't drawn out on a piece of paper—well, there are marriage licenses, but they're unique in that fact. Even still, signing your names and such on a little piece of paper, while legally significant, does little else to define the relationship outside of the nature of the commitment.

Relationships need to bloom and blossom naturally, you can't just command them to be so. They're formed through shared experiences of both joy and hardship, forging a bond that cannot be broken.

It's always hard bringing two different groups of people together, there's a reason there are so many memes and jokes about how much it makes you sweat to introduce two different friend groups to each other. And with families, of course, this is even far more extreme with it being a much more intimate and close knit type of relationship.

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  • As a kid in this situation, it's like whiplash, with everything you've ever known and understood suddenly turned on its head. But, when you're young enough at least you're a long time, really isn't that long at all, and you're capable of adjusting to the change. But teens? Not so much. At that point, the change you're feeling in your life and your self, and your desire for carving out your individuality don't mesh with a new family.

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    Cheezburger Image 10481026304
    via Shelby Bauman

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    "AITA for refusing to sign a 'family contract' during my dad's wedding?"

    My mom d d 4 years ago and my dad's engaged to Anne. Their wedding is 3 months away and Anne has a 12 year old daughter and an 8 year old son. Dad has me (15m). Dad and Anne want this wedding to be the start of a new family life for all of us after loss because Anne's husband/her kids dad di d too. They see this as a happy new chapter and
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    an exciting chance to grow the family or whatever. They want us to not only accept the wedding but to accept each other as family and commit to being close, loving each other, choosing each other and swearing we'll always be a family.
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    Anne's son is excited about it. Her daughter is more wobbly about it. She feels guilty about wanting another dad and wanting us to be a family and there's a part of her that doesn't want it. She admitted this in therapy that we're all going to. I'm not excited. I accept my dad getting married. But I don't accept the rest of the stuff they want. I don't love Anne or her kids. I don't want another mom or mom figure to take on the role that mom should have. I don't want to commit to always being th
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    This isn't exciting to me. It's sad. It's actually. It just reminds me mom isn't here and I'll never have my family back. To me this is dad creating a new family but not my new family. I told the therapist this. She wants this to be a discussion when the other kids aren't there but so far Anne doesn't want any sessions that don't include her kids.
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    The contract was mentioned in therapy. Our therapist tried to discourage it but my dad and Anne said they want it to be more than just them but all of us. They asked us in therapy if we'd sign it and I said no. I was the only one. Anne's kids looked sad that I said no. Anne looked offended and really surprised and I don't think she realized someone could say no. My dad looked unhappy with me. But he didn't say anything. The therapist wanted us to talk some more and she asked again (5th time) if
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    My dad wanted to know why I couldn't say yes for him and why I'm refusing to do something minor that would make everyone else happy. He told me one day in the future I'll be so glad I was open to doing it because we'll all be so close and it will be a nice reminder. AITA?
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a▶ple: I refused to sign a family contract thing at my dad's wedding and I know how much it means to my dad and his almost wife and her kids so I might be TA for refusing to sign it even if it's all just pretending on my part. It really isn't legally binding or anything so that part could also add to the case of me being AH.
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    NeedBatteries29 NTA My BIL and his second wife tried to do this when they got married and blended their families 10 years ago. The kids wanted no part of it, they didn't like each other, but the parents went ahead with the marriage and the "family contract" and stuff. Things never improved and now BIL is getting a divorce for the second time.
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    sour_lemons NTA. It's so sad that your dad and Anne are literally disregarding what both you and the therapist are trying to say to them they cannot force you - to have a relationship with Anne and her kids. If one grows organically, great, but forcing it will only build resentment and result in you pulling farther away.
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    If this contract is really so "minor" then why is your dad and Anne so pushy about it? Clearly it's not minor to them nor should it be minor to you. Maybe tell your dad that if he'll agree to therapy alone with you then you'll consider the contract so that there's a chance to talk more about this issue during therapy?
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    dogfishfrostbite Anne refusing you individual therapy is a red f'n flag. You poor thing. She suuuuuucks.
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    Content-Plenty-2... Oh, I see. Anne gets to say no to everything but is shocked that someone can say no to her. You are NTA. You are also a minor and as such can't sign any contracts. I understand that this is not a legally enforceable contract but just a gesture, but you can still demur and maybe offer to reconsider once you get to know them all better. I'm sorry you've lost your mom and now are being put through this. It's a lot for someone so young
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Babies family dynamics teens family drama stepmother aita AITAH infant kids teenagers blended family siblings stepchild moms family feud parenting family pregnant reddit thread parent raising kids Parenting Fail parents children
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